bessibels:

All right so here is a thing.

I want to start going to LGBTQ-education organizations in Toronto, especially ones that target young people, and asking them to contribute to ace visibility. I would like to offer them pamphlets and/or flyers to start out with.

However, I have looked around a bit and none of the pamphlets that usually get passed around (e.g. the AVEN one and the AAW one) seem to *quite* meet my needs. I have a particular idea of what I want, and the truth is I’d sort of like to make one myself. But I have a couple of concerns. For one thing, I cannot make things. I do not graphic design. Kid Pix was about as far as I ever got. For another, a pamphlet made by some girl nobody’s ever heard of is not going to look as impressive or official as one made by an actual organization.

If I do make a pamphlet or flyer, these are the things I would like it to include that I have not seen:

1. Explicit mention of aromanticism and the fact that it is separate from asexuality.

2.  Explicit confirmation that yes, some asexual people enjoy sex and that does not make them less asexual.

3. Explicit mention of demisexuality and gray-asexuality, with a reference to a more thorough resource on those things.

4. This is more of a design choice thing, but I have this idea about a pamphlet with a cover that echoes thoughts that are common for young aces who haven’t heard of asexuality — things like “I’m just not that into anyone” or “I have crushes but it seems like something’s missing” or “Why is everyone talking about sex?” No one seems to have done this, and I think it might be a good way for a pamphlet sitting on a table or a bulletin board to catch the attention of a young unidentified ace, which is really what I’m interested in, more even than educating other people.

Does anyone have advice on how to make this happen? Does anyone want to help me do the design? Does anyone have thoughts on what else should be included?

If there were a pamphlet out there that did what I wanted, I would ask permission and use it, so if anyone knows of one, let me know. But so far every one I’ve seen has been missing something that I think is important.

pinstripesuit’s lovely asexuality 101 flyer definitely meets #1-3.

Here’s one!  I think the thread Sci linked to in her post on reductionism in the asexual community has some other ones as well, but unfortunately the AVEN forums are down right now, so I can’t check.

This post has been cross-posted to The Asexual Agenda.

A while back there was this big kerfuffle on tumblr* about how aces are secretly harmful to LGB folks.  One of the main arguments was that LGB folks have internalized heterosexism, and thus use the asexual community to hide from their sexuality.  Now, I’m not really interested in getting into the whole “are aces harmful to LGB folks” debate, because that thing is a can of worms—a can of flesh-eating, fire-breathing, radioactive worms, that is.  But the idea of hiding from one’s sexuality in the ace community had me raising my eyebrows so far that they were practically flying off my face, and all I could think was, Have you ever spent any time in the ace community?  If I wanted to hide from my sexuality, the asexual community is the last place I’d go.  Here’s why:

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Today is truly a momentous occasion, for today marks the first time that someone has found The Asexual Agenda through the keywords “more japanese men are becoming lettuce.”

It’s true.  More Japanese men are becoming lettuce.  This is why there is a declining birth rate in Japan.  Lettuce cannot reproduce with humans.  Soon, all Japanese men will be lettuce.  Some pockets of resistance will remain, eating salad aggressively.  But eventually they too will succumb to the lettuce hordes.  Japan will be populated entirely by packs of feral lettuce.  Neighboring countries will begin stockpiling salad dressing in self-defense.  Imported lettuce will be banned, as it could be hiding Japanese spies.  Children will have lettuce drills in school.  What was once thought of as a mildly flavorful addition to sandwiches will become an object of fear and terror.

Remember, you heard it here first.  More Japanese men are becoming lettuce.

godlessace:

Become a contributor to The Asexual Agenda

It’s that time again!  The Asexual Agenda is looking for new bloggers.

The Asexual Agenda is not a 101 blog, and is not a visibility effort.  It is a blog written by ace-spectrum people, for ace-spectrum people, at a level that is higher than what you find in the news.  We talk about experiences, identity politics, intersectionality, academic research, asexual activism, and anything else you like.

Expectations:

If you become a contributor, I expect you to correspond with us by e-mail, and I expect you to write on occasion.  You decide what to write about on your own.

How to apply:

To apply, please e-mail us at asexualagenda@gmail.com by May 31st.  Briefly (in ~100 words) tell us about yourself, and why you’d like to contribute.  Also include a writing sample (300-1000 words), something that would be suitable to publish on The Asexual Agenda.

The application process is not meant to be difficult or intimidating.  In past experience, most rejections have been because applicants did not know what the blog was about.  Please look at our site to get an idea.

Guest posts:

If you can’t contribute regularly, we are always open for guest posts.  Please e-mail us at asexualagenda@gmail.com.

I just got a question from an anon, but I’m putting my response under a cut ‘cause there are trigger warnings attached to it.

Trigger warnings: rape, sexual assault

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iamalizardwomanfromthedawnoftime:

I unfortunately don’t have anything that I can add to this but it sounds like a very useful project.

Also, a lot of resources like this are often very US-centric so it’d great if it could have a wider focus, if that’s possible.

I would love to include resources for folks living outside the US!  Unfortunately, the only countries I’ve had experience living in are the US and Japan, but I can do some poking around on the internet to see what I can find.  Also, if any folks with experience living outside the US would be willing to chime in, that would be greatly appreciated.

(Obvious trigger warnings apply to the whole post, although there’s no graphic discussion of anything.  If you don’t want to see this on your dashboard, I will be tagging everything related to this project with ”resources for ace survivors,” so you can blacklist that. )

I’ve decided that one of my summer projects is going to be assembling a resource list for asexual spectrum survivors of sexual assault and rape.  I’ve seen the lack of such a resource mentioned several times online, and also had several conversations in person about the necessity of such a resource. Although we don’t have any official numbers (that I know of), anecdata suggests that it’s not uncommon for aces to be sexual assault survivors (and to receive rape threats fairly regularly).  It’s also not uncommon for ace survivors to be afraid of reaching out for help (because of fear that their therapist will try to “cure” their asexuality, because they don’t know where to find resources, etc.).  So resources need to exist.

That said, this is probably a ridiculously huge undertaking, and if I did all of it by myself it would A. probably not be as good as I’d like and B. not have as many resources as I’d like, since (despite what my professors think) I cannot read everything in the world.

Here’s where you come in:

If you have suggestions for things you’d like to see on the list (how to find therapists, lists of helplines, how to deal with PTSD on your own if you can’t get therapy, etc.), please let me know.  I really want to tailor this to what people would find most helpful.  Heck, if it would be helpful to include information on how to supportive of someone who’s a survivor, I can see what I can pull together.

On the other hand, if you have suggestions for any resources that should be included in the list, please let me know.  I don’t know of any resources specifically for ace survivors, but if you know of any good resources (whether general audience or LGBTQ-specific) that could be adapted, I want to know about them.  Also, I know how to find support on college campuses, but not a lot about community resources, so any information on that would be greatly appreciated.

If you are a survivor and are willing to give advice or share anything that you think others would find helpful (even if it’s something as simple as “this is how I deal with panic attacks”* or “I wish I had known ____”), my ask box is open and anon is on.  I can also turn on submissions, if that would be helpful.  I will not publish asks without your explicit permission.  (Also, I reply privately to non-anon asks.)  Alternatively, you can email me at queenieofaces@gmail.com.  I understand how hard it is to talk about this stuff, and no one should feel pressured into sharing anything.  Only contribute if you feel comfortable doing so.  (And if you don’t want to contribute but still want to talk to someone, my ask box is open.)

Basically, I’d like this to be the best resource possible, and since all of you are brilliant, I figure that anything you contribute will be brilliant.  If you contribute in any way, I will include you in the list of contributors to the resource list (unless you would prefer not to be identified, in which case I will still include you as “anonymous”**).

If you would be willing to signal boost this post so that more people can know about it and contribute, that would be greatly appreciated.  I’m not going to pull the “if you really care, you’ll reblog” card, ‘cause if you really care, you’ll take care of yourself, whatever taking care of yourself means to you.  Again, if you don’t want to see this on your dashboard, I will be tagging everything related to this project with ”resources for ace survivors,” so you can blacklist that. 

So, yeah, I think that about covers it.  LET’S DO THIS THING.

*I recently learned that lying down and putting an ice pack (or bag of frozen peas, if you don’t have an ice pack) on your face (specifically across the bridge of your nose) will often help with panic attacks, because it triggers your “dive reflex,” which slows down your heart and respiratory rates.  SCIENCE.

**Alternatively, I can make up a silly fabulous pseudonym for you.

I’M DONE WITH PAPERS!

*collapses dramatically on the floor*

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be absurdly stereotypical and make a cake.

I’m not quite done with finals just yet, but it’s now been a year since I made my first nail-bitingly exciting post on tumblr, so I felt like I should make the obligatory blog anniversary post.  It’s been kind of a ridiculous year.  In the past year I

• started blogging about asexuality
• submitted to Carnival of Aces for the first time (and managed to contribute to every subsequent carnival this year, with the exception of March and April)
• wrote fanfic for the first time in my life
• went to my first ever meet-up
• wrote a satirical article about asexuality (occasionally people think it is real and reblog it to write really angry things)
• hosted Carnival of Aces
• started writing for The Asexual Agenda
• wrote an article on herbivore men that somehow became the second hit on Google
• attended (and spoke at!) my first queer conference
• somehow managed to convince my university’s GSRM center to add ace resources to their website 
• ran a panel on asexuality at my university
• finished my first year of graduate school without exploding or becoming entirely disillusioned
• met a whole lot of amazing folks!

On a less cheerful note, as some of you already know, my partner and I broke up.  I’m not interested in discussing what happened (especially not in a public forum), but if you are wondering why I am no longer writing about him, that would be why.

Now that both the semester and Life Drama are coming to an end, I should be able to start blogging regularly again.  I’ve got a couple of half-written posts, so hopefully you’ll be seeing some of them (just, you know, fully written) soon.  If for some reason you have a topic that you really want me to blog about (haha, people caring about my opinions? Yeah, right), you should let me know!

Anyway, hurray for an awesome year on tumblr, and here’s to many more!